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Lanx Satura [sat-ahyuhr]: City Approves $4 Million Dollar Contract With Recycle Ann Arbor To Repossess Gift Cards Issued By RecycleBank

by Pete Nicely

It was H.L. MenckenSinclair Lewis or some other dead white Anglo Saxon who once sort-of said, “When fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in the flag and waving a cross.” Or maybe it was Ryan Seacrest who said, “When Lady Gaga shows up at the MTV Video Music Awards, it will come wrapped in the flag and waving a cross.”

Either way, costumes matter.

When Big Government showed up at my house in Ann Arbor, it was wrapped in hemp-related fibers, wearing Birkenstocks, and waving a clipboard.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Big Government,” I said. “I’m hoping you’re here to tell me how you’ve got your jackboots and you’re gonna separate into banks and investment houses, again. I mean we had a Great Depression. We passed Glass-Steagall, which made banks and investment houses investment houses. We did that and we didn’t have a depression… until we got rid of Glass-Steagall. So I though maybe, you know, we could put that back. Why not? Nothing will ever cost us more than that crash did. Glass-Steagall is bad branding. Let’s call it the Kardashian bill. Or the Anti-Kardashian bill. Whichever polls better.”

Big Government cocked its head back and said, “One of us has something important to say. Should I just come back when you’re taking a nap?”

“Big Government,” I said. “I’m a fan. Loved it when you saved Chrysler and GM. You did it in a way that didn’t gratuitously punish workers. And then you passed a national health care reform to help 40 million Americans afford health insurance. You did it because lack of insurance kills more Americans in one year—some 50,000—than any terrorist ever could. So please tell me you’re here to sign me up for a Public Option, a Medicare for All that I can buy into. I’m willing to pay to make it fair. I’m like the Warren Buffet of dudes who make $40,000 a year.”

“Would you shut up? I’m trying build some consensus around this ‘Take Back the Gift Card’ program,” Big Government said.

And by the sudden glitter of self-righteousness in its eye, I could tell Big Government was serious. I fell to the floor, rolled on my back and showed Big Government my belly. That’s how it knows you’re no threat.

“What ever you need, Big Government,” I said. “Take it.”

Big Government began softly jabbing at my belly with its sandal. I couldn’t stop the part of me—the slave I’d been trained to be since I first started watching F-Troop—from purring. But I tried.

Big Government said, “We just need that Best Buy gift card you got from the RecycleBank. We’ve recycled the contract to save a bit of money, or at least that’s what we told people, and we get ten cents on every dollar in gift cards we return.”

I’d spent thousands on the cardboard I’d bought to recycle to rack up the points that won me that gift card. But the purring, it was clouding my mind. I reached into my fanny pack and held the card out for Big Government, politely.

“How about my Kroger Card? I think I’m getting like $.10 off a gallon of gas but I have to go to Ypsilanti to fill up. How about my weed?” I asked. “I have a prescription.”

“We have too much stinky weed, as it is,” Big Government said, slipping my Best Buy gift card into its recycled cotton shopping bag. “Just don’t let us tax it and regulate it and everything will be cool.” There was a glint in Big Government’s eye as it used the language of the “kids.”

Big Government lifted its Birkenstock from my belly.

“Deal,” I said, rolling over to my side, suddenly fetal. “Whatever you need.”

And that’s when I knew fascism could never come to Ann Arbor or America. The costume thing is just kinda over. Right? 

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Proposed Solid Waste Plan Includes New Building, Paid Garbage Collection, Reveals Single-Stream A Disappointment
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To listen to Michael Garfield, head of the Ecology Center tell the story, Recycle Ann Arbor, which is controlled by Garfield and the Ecology Center, has been the victim of ...
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Short URL: http://www.a2politico.com/?p=10203

3 Comments for “Lanx Satura [sat-ahyuhr]: City Approves $4 Million Dollar Contract With Recycle Ann Arbor To Repossess Gift Cards Issued By RecycleBank”

  1. I don’t understand. Four million to rescind big budget items like lawn care clippings bestowed upon recycle truck drivers or for RAA to host workers in picking up trees….but four bullying million to trash the best behavior mod programme developed in this town in decades…. that ‘s a lotta dinero to end a feasible and working grassroots inspired programme. What happened at the Solid waste meeting last night. Did we miss anything, or anything manipulated by *them* again?

  2. [...] by wang-banger [link] [1 comment] humor Tweet (function() { var s = document.createElement('SCRIPT'), s1 = [...]

  3. REALITY!!

    ( http://my.firedoglake.com/iflizwerequeen/2011/05/16/how-about-a-little-truth-about-what-the-majority-want-for-health-care/ )

    ( Gov. Peter Shumlin: Real Healthcare reform — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yFUbkVCsZ4 )

    ( Health Care Budget Deficit Calculator — http://www.cepr.net/calculators/hc/hc-calculator.html )

    ( Briefing: Dean Baker on Boosting the Economy by Saving Healthcare http://t.co/fmVz8nM )

    START NOW!

    As you all know. Had congress passed a single-payer or government-run robust Public Option CHOICE! available to everyone on day one, our economy and jobs would have taken off like a rocket. And still will. Single-payer would be best. But a government-run robust Public Option CHOICE! that can lead to a single-payer system is the least you can accept. It’s not about competing with for-profit healthcare and for-profit health insurance. It’s about replacing it with Universal Healthcare Assurance. Everyone knows this now.

    The message from the midterm elections was clear. The American people want real healthcare reform. They want that individual mandate requiring them to buy private health insurance abolished. And they want a government-run robust public option CHOICE! available to everyone on day one. And they want it now.

    They want Drug re-importation, and abolishment, or strong restrictions on patents for biologic and prescription drugs. And government controlled and negotiated drug and medical cost. They want back control of their healthcare system from the Medical Industrial Complex. And they want it NOW!

    THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WILL NOT, AND MUST NOT, ALLOW AN INDIVIDUAL MANDATE TO STAND WITHOUT A STRONG GOVERNMENT-RUN PUBLIC OPTION CHOICE! AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE.

    For-profit health insurance is extremely unethical, and morally repugnant. It’s as morally repugnant as slavery was. And few if any decent Americans are going to allow them-self to be compelled to support such an unethical and immoral crime against humanity.

    This is a matter of National and Global security. There can be NO MORE EXCUSES.

    Further, we want that corrupt, undemocratic filibuster abolished. Whats the point of an election if one corrupt member of congress can block the will of the people, and any legislation the majority wants. And do it in secret. Give me a break people.

    Also, unemployment healthcare benefits are critically needed. But they should be provided through the Medicare program at cost, less the 65% government premium subsidy provided now to private for profit health insurance.

    Congress should stop wasting hundreds of millions of dollars of taxpayer money on private for profit health insurance subsidies. Subsidies that cost the taxpayer 10x as much or more than Medicare does. Private for profit health insurance plans cost more. But provide dangerous and poorer quality patient care.

    Republicans: GET RID OF THE INDIVIDUAL MANDATE.

    Democrats: ADD A ROBUST GOVERNMENT-RUN PUBLIC OPTION TO HEALTHCARE REFORM.

    This is what the American people are shouting at you. Both parties have just enough power now to do what the American people want. GET! IT! DONE! NOW!

    If congress does not abolish the individual mandate. And establish a government-run public option CHOICE! before the end of 2011. EVERY! member of congress up for reelection in 2012 will face strong progressive pro public option, and anti-individual mandate replacement candidates.

    Strong progressive pro “PUBLIC OPTION” CHOICE! and anti-individual mandate volunteer candidates should begin now. And start the process of replacing any and all members of congress that obstruct, or fail to add a government-run robust PUBLIC OPTION CHOICE! before the end of 2011.

    We need two or three very strong progressive volunteer candidates for every member of congress that will be up for reelection in 2012. You should be fully prepared to politically EVISCERATE EVERY INCUMBENT that fails or obstructs “THE PUBLIC OPTION”. And you should be willing to step aside and support the strongest pro “PUBLIC OPTION” candidate if the need arises.

    ASSUME CONGRESS WILL FAIL and SELLOUT again. So start preparing now to CUT THEIR POLITICAL THROATS. You can always step aside if they succeed. But only if they succeed. We didn’t have much time to prepare before these past midterm elections. So the American people had to use a political shotgun approach. But by 2012 you will have a scalpel.

    Congress could have passed a robust government-run public option during it’s lame duck session. They knew what the American people wanted. They already had several bills on record. And the house had already passed a public option. Departing members could have left with a truly great accomplishment. And the rest of you could have solidified your job before the 2012 elections.

    President Obama, you promised the American people a strong public option available to everyone. And the American people overwhelmingly supported you for it. Maybe it just wasn’t possible before. But it is now.

    Knock heads. Threaten people. Or do whatever you have to. We will support you. But get us that robust public option CHOICE! available to everyone on day one before the end of 2011. Or We The People Of The United States will make the past midterm election look like a cake walk in 2012. And it will include you.

    We still have a healthcare crisis in America. With hundreds of thousands dieing needlessly every year in America. And a for profit medical industrial complex that threatens the security and health of the entire world. They have already attacked the world with H1N1 killing thousands, and injuring millions. And more attacks are planned for profit, and to feed their greed.

    Spread the word people.

    Progressives, prepare the American peoples scalpels. It’s time to remove some politically diseased tissues.

    God Bless You my fellow human beings. I’m proud to be one of you. You did good.

    See you on the battle field.

    Sincerely

    jacksmith – WorkingClass :-)

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