Deliverance: 411 on the 313—Congress Proclaims Americans Have a “Constitutional Right To Fast Food”
by Warren Liverance
For the majority of my life I have watched, helpless, as the Wizards of Smart and the compassion fascists have experimented with American society and government. Welfare, Social Security, ADC, Medicare, Medicaid, Head Start, Homeland Security, HUD, HEW, HUBBA HUBBA, and a host of other federal intrusions with no basis in the Constitution, have been conjured and foisted upon us. We are always told to judge the good intentions, not the disastrous results. Even as many of these programs have been proven ineffective, if not outright destructive, they continue to exist, and like Dracula, suck the country’s life blood away.
What I propose is that each new attempt at “fairness” (I don’t know about you, but my parents taught me that life isn’t fair) be subjected to gedankenexperiment. For those of you with little mathematical/scientific background, like most Obama voters, gedankenexperiment is “an experiment that considers some hypothesis, theory, or principle for the purpose of thinking through the consequences.” Given the structure of the experiment, it may or may not be possible to actually perform it, and, in the case that it is possible for it to be performed, there need be no intention of any kind to actually perform the experiment in question.”
While I abhor the actual experimental tinkering that our public masters do, it is fun to think of the unintended consequences that might occur from the implementation of one of their schemes. What follows is purely fictional, if not a bit frightening. For those of you that are confused, a quick read of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie will help.
WARNING!! WHAT FOLLOWS IS POLITICAL SATIRE!! DO NOT PANIC!!
McDonald’s restaurants deliver clean tasty food, at a reasonable price, to millions of satisfied customers. Thousands of young people have their
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