From Hamlet, Act I, scene 4.
Horatio: He waxes desperate with imagination.
Marcellus: Let’s follow. ‘Tis not fit thus to obey him.
Horatio: Have after. To what issue will this come?
Marcellus: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
So, the Great Lakes Education Project (GLEP) postcards arrived like clockwork, close to the end of the Democratic primary race between Pam Byrnes and Rebekah Warren. For those not fortunate enough to have seen the GLEP postcard, it was a masterful hit piece. It slammed Rebekah Warren for missing 54 votes, including votes on really important issues, such as what to serve for lunch in the Legislative Dining Room on Tuesdays, and other more minor issues, such as lawmaker pay, and education. The GLEP postcard touted Pam Byrnes as a “progressive.” Can you hear the screaming? Well, we all know that there can only be one “progressive” running in any given Democratic race in Ann Arbor. There are some local candidates who, I believe, have trademarked the term. When opponents dare use it (or have it used for them) to describe themselves or, worse still, to describe their actual voting records, you can literally smell the umbraticum.
Here’s a question to ask yourself: Did Pam Byrnes get taken out by the Michigan Republican Party so Rebekah Warren could end up in Lansing? Why the question?
Simple publishing insider baseball: Even the Good Lord couldn’t create the Earth faster than Rebekah Warren got her postcard out slamming Pam Byrnes in response to GLEP slamming Warren’s voting record and (insert nails on chalkboard here) referring to Pammy B. as a “progressive.”
My fellow politicos, ask yourselves how Rebekah Warren had a piece disavowing the GLEP postcard designed, printed and mailed in just three days. Why, it’s almost as if Rebekah Warren knew the GLEP card had gone out and was ready to counter it. Either that, or the USPS just likes Rebekah a bunch more than they like anyone else and delivered her anti-GLEP attack postcard to households all over Ann Arbor in two days (let’s give a day for printing, shall we?) without the bother of first class postage. Here’s another niggling detail. In her counter to the GLEP-a-palooza, Rebekah Warren called out the DeVos Family Singers, but not Ron Weiser, Chair of the Michigan Republican Party. Along with the DeVos family, Ron Weiser was one of the major donors who funded GLEP, and the GLEP postcard endorsing Pam Byrnes. Why’d Weiser escape Warren’s public shellacking of the cranky conservatives behind GLEP and its independent endorsement of her opponent?
I have to say that I thought Byrnes was playing along with the GLEP folks when, just a couple of days after the GLEP card hit, I got a mailer from Byrnes with a section devoted to (raise eyebrows here) Warren having missed 50 votes, and a tacky “Vote NO on Warren message.” Then, the very next day, three days after the GLEP card went out, I got Warren’s anti-GLEP, hair-pulling postcard aimed right at Pam Byrnes’s modern bouffant. Unless you happen to be in the publishing business, like I am, you would never realize that only first class mail gets delivered lickety-split, like in two days. Permit mail takes longer, sometimes a couple of weeks. Warren’s postcard decrying the GLEP attack was mailed using a permit. So, either it had been mailed before the GLEP postcard went out (in which case that little minx Rebekah Warren knew the GLEP card was in the works), or she got first-class postal service on a postcard mailed with a permit. Creating the earth in five days would be more likely.
Those with other theories should feel free to read the actual postcards, read up on permit mail delivery, standard printing turn-around times, and then comment, without using the words “progressive” or “conservative.” I’d make you do it blindfolded, but only a few local politicos are that talented.
So why would the Michigan Republican Party want to take out Pam Byrnes? The obvious answer is that the brain trust within the Michigan Republican Party came to the conclusion that Rebekah Warren will be easier to do business with than Pam Byrnes, or easier to manipulate. Thus, Warren’s omission of Ron Weiser from her list of Republican “conservatives” behind the postcard becomes more interesting than ever.
Finally, Warren got a helping hand from AnnArbor.com with the wonderful headline: “Rebekah Warren says Pam Byrnes’ campaign tactics in Senate race have ‘crossed the line’.”
Crossed what line? The limbo line?
That same day AnnArbor posted that gem of a smooch for Warren’s campaign, I got a campaign mailer from Rebekah Warren slamming Pam Byrnes, a piece attacking her opponent. While her own attack piece was being designed, mailed and delivered (again in record time), Warren told AnnArbor.com:
“I have always abhorred this aspect of our politics,” Warren wrote. “Its disparaging effect on our government and our ability to realize the vision of the founders of our country is too severe. You will never see me supporting such attacks. Never. And if any of my supporters engage in such behavior, I will do everything in my power to stop it, including publicly decrying their efforts.”
So who’s GLEPpping whom, politicos? We’ll have to wait to see who paid for the robo-calls that tied Pam Byrnes to the “conservatives,” or was it “preservatives?” Calcium proponiate against Pam Byrnes.
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